Unequally Yoked?

“Be ye not yoked with an unbeliever.  For what things hath belief in common with unbelief?”

What can I say?  My husband treats me better than any man I have ever been with therefore I will not cast him away because of his beliefs.  God does not go by man’s laws and I am pretty sure my Lord and Savior has put us together.  We bring out the best in each other rather than the worst.   But it still has its disadvantages and I do fear at times what would happen if we were in the worst of end times.   Would I be safe?  Actions speak louder than words.

What the heck do you do if you realize your unequally yoked?
Click here to read SHORT ANSWER (if your on the home page first click “continue reading” then “here” for short answer.

What does that really mean?  I can share my experience with this.  The man I live with for the last 14 years is not a Christian or a believer in Christ  He thinks Jesus was only a man at most a prophet.    I on the other hand have had numerous healings, deliverances, born again experience, and revelation after revelation in and of Christ, The Father, and The Holy Spirit.

I also went to AA for years.  Alcoholics Anonymous is where I met my”husband” per say.  He is by far the kindest and most respectful man I have ever lived with.  He is usually very grounded and of good behavior.  We both quit AA years ago.  Neither of us drink or drug, we are done with that mess.

There is a problem with being yoked in these possible “last days” with unbelievers.  If we have on our full armor demonic B.S. cannot affect us, however, the people around us will be attacked.  We must understand that when they demoralize us or by attacking our behavior, our interests, our beliefs, it hurts, yes.  We should process that hurt by writing or crying because firstly, no one else can fix our emotional condition.  We need to develop self examination, do a fear list and ask God to remove fear, process deep pain by writing, or sharing with an empathic listener WHO RELATES TO US.  This isn’t a blame session but rather a sharing of our deepest feelings and thoughts so they flow out instead of getting stuck till they make us sick.

Next.  We need to realize that inn today’s world the programming is first our own demoralization and second the attack and demoralization of each other by blame, and verbal criticisms.   These are today’s emotional survival tools as dysfunctional as they may be people use these all the time.

Once we have been responsible to process our own pain we should realize if our partner is attacking us, its because THEY ARE AFRAID and they may be under demonic attack.  We bind all demons attacking them because we do have that power.

Next we don’t tell our partner what is wrong with them.  We merely share our own feelings and thoughts about situations and our experience.  Your partner must evolve into his own process of self examination or he WILL get stuck in the blame and demoralize you by criticism.

You cannot change him in the natural.  All you can do is either leave him/her and pray for him.  You can teach him by your own example of behavior.  Never get dysfunctional with attack, name calling, telling your partner that he is “BAD” in so many words will just put him in defense mode then you have a full blown WAR on your hands.  If you need to process, do it with someone else no him/her.  Your partner is not your therapist.  Oh sure some things you can process emotionally like maybe childhood issues and such that don’t threaten him/her and they can relate.

If your partner is a source of invalidation for you always taking the alternative opinion and never saying “yes I know how you feel” or “Yes that is absolutely true I feel that way to” or “yes I agree” then he is a source of demoralization and tearing you down on a regular basis by NEVER looking for the similarities.

It’s bad enough that society programs us into thinking we are bad and wrong, but now you have gotten with a partner who invalidates you on a regular basis.  No wonder you are lashing out in anger.

It takes years to deprogram dysfunctional survival skills.  AA will deprogram you but not without setting their own program in place.  Therapy will deprogram you IF you have the right therapist who won’t invalidate you.  Group therapy works best because of the relating for emotional deprogramming of the “I am bad and wrong” program we all suffer from in this country.  Ultimately its God’s job with daily interaction with God to make sure and supply the deprogramming you need to survive in peace and contentment.

SHORT ANSWER for what to do if unequally yoked

As for being yoked unequally with a person you Love, unless a partner is tearing you down and has no self examination qualities you may want to learn to work through the problem rather than to run like hell. However these are your two options. If you run like hell you may end up either alone or with someone worse. If you do run like hell make damn sure you know the red flags of dysfunction before you commit to any relationship. Like for instance “I Love you” is being said before the 6 month trial period. The I love you flag is a very RED flag(click to read red flags). See “fairy tale phases” article. You do not deserve disrespect.  I would NOT tolerate disrespect for very long before I would leave.  So I am saying the way a person treats you is more important than what they express as a belief.  Actions speak louder than words.

Relationships are all about respect.  IF you want more on relationships go to my recovery websites https://www.recoveryfarmhouse.com/?s=relationships

This article is very extensive on healing a relationship https://www.recoveryfarmhouse.net/sober-relationships/

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